as a child, I wanted only two things.
I wanted to be loved; I wanted to be appreciated, I wanted, most of all, to be wanted. I thought, if I’m good, people will laud me and plaudit me and love me.
I guess after all I only wanted one thing, because the second thing was that I wanted to be a person, not an object. I resented being a cat’s paw, or being made use of by others. When you are a kind, trusting innocent boy you can get into a lot of trouble if you throw your lot in with the wrong crowd.
i never met a wrong crowd; they always taught me lessons. Costly lessons, but all teachings, to be learned.
I met a girl once. Broke up with her, because eventually, essentially, I was her entertainment. A live, breathing, comedy/variety/entertainment act, better than HBO or flash Solitaire. I was funny, I made her laugh when she was sad, I made her choke on her tears and giggle; I made her beam when she was happy, I defused her anger when she was angry.
And nothing left for me.
Understand me, since you claim I am ‘mysterious’. There is an explanation for everything.
